Realizations...

I already sent him a message telling that it's up to him if he still wants to return the thing he borrowed from me. Finally, I had let him go; and that was a week ago. Well, he already read my message and has no reactions to it. Knowing him, I guess he would really not react to it anymore.

After that, things have become lighter and easier for me. I find it reasonable to walk alone every night this time because I knew that I am single. I am not holding someone's hand because I don't have a boyfriend. I may long for his kisses but all I know now is that those are just memories from the past and it will remain as a part of my past. IT CANNOT BE MY PRESENT NOR MY FUTURE.

And then there was Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist. He mentioned something about omens and the past, present and the future. Yes, I must admit that I already had an omen that we will part ways, but I did not heed to that foreshadowing. But at least, now, I learned my lesson.

Life is the present. Your future maybe important but it cannot be made possible if you dwell on your past. And my present greatly affects my future. This is the reason why I should live my day without rushing into things; it's all part of the process.

So now, I must say, I made the right choice. It doesn't matter to me if he will regret letting me go or not. What matters now is that I corrected my own mistakes, and I have learned a lesson. I am so glad that at least, when I wake up in the morning, it is not "him" that I am first thinking of anymore. ^^