Realizations...

I already sent him a message telling that it's up to him if he still wants to return the thing he borrowed from me. Finally, I had let him go; and that was a week ago. Well, he already read my message and has no reactions to it. Knowing him, I guess he would really not react to it anymore.

After that, things have become lighter and easier for me. I find it reasonable to walk alone every night this time because I knew that I am single. I am not holding someone's hand because I don't have a boyfriend. I may long for his kisses but all I know now is that those are just memories from the past and it will remain as a part of my past. IT CANNOT BE MY PRESENT NOR MY FUTURE.

And then there was Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist. He mentioned something about omens and the past, present and the future. Yes, I must admit that I already had an omen that we will part ways, but I did not heed to that foreshadowing. But at least, now, I learned my lesson.

Life is the present. Your future maybe important but it cannot be made possible if you dwell on your past. And my present greatly affects my future. This is the reason why I should live my day without rushing into things; it's all part of the process.

So now, I must say, I made the right choice. It doesn't matter to me if he will regret letting me go or not. What matters now is that I corrected my own mistakes, and I have learned a lesson. I am so glad that at least, when I wake up in the morning, it is not "him" that I am first thinking of anymore. ^^

Before I Let You Go

Finally, I am letting go... I don't want to but I NEED TO. I need to do this to regain my pride as a woman who fell in love for the wrong person. It hurts so much, I am afraid that this might be my last time to love someone. I already have given everything to him that I don't have enough left for myself. He is just too naive and selfish to understand that...

This is the song I am dedicating to him, for the last time. Each words in this lyrics is so true, it just depicts what my heart tells me. It is sung by Freestyle. Here it is:

I can still remember like yesterday
We were so in love in a special way
And knowing that your love will
make me feel oh so right
But now I feel lost, don't know what to do
Each and every day I think of you
Holdin' back the tears, I'm trying with all my might

Refrain:
Because you've gone and left me standing All alone
And I know I've got to face tomorrow On my own....
But baby....

Chorus:

Before I let you go
I want to say I love you
I hope that you're listenin' 'Coz it's true,baby
You'll be forever in my heart
And I know that no one else will do,
yeah So before I let you go
I want to say .....
I love you

Interlude:
I wish that it could be just like before
I know I could've given you so much more
Even though you know I'd given you all my love
I miss your smile, I miss your kiss
Each and every day I reminisce
'Coz baby it's you That I'm always dreaming of...

Repeat Refrain
Repeat Chorus (except last 3 words)

Bridge:
Coz Letting love go is never easy
But I love you so That's why I set you free And I know
Someday
Somehow
I'll find a way To leave it all behind me
Guess it wasn't meant to be But baby.........

Repeat chorus (except last 3 words)
So before I let you go I want to say.......I love you .